What Should Have Been
by Aimless
I sit on the bleachers in the afternoon sun watching Ken as he coaches his kids on the soccer field. I’ve been coming to the park for months now to watch my lover. It’s a side of him that’s only evident out here in the park. He looks so happy as he runs across the field shouting encouragement. Ken’s smiling face is something I would give up everything to see and it’s an expression that I can’t seem to put there.
I’m not saying that Ken is unhappy with me but that look of unbridled joy when he is on the field is so different from the quiet smiles he gives me. Sometimes I hate Persia for what he has done to us all… done to Ken. He was never suited to being a killer. He should have stayed in J-league playing the game he loves so much. He should have settled down with a wife and had a few kids of his own.
It’s clear to me as I watch Ken help a child up who has fallen. He gently wipes the tears away and hugs the boy and soon the child is laughing again and chasing the ball down the field. Ken is endlessly patient and cheerfully encouraging. He would have made a wonderful father.
This is the life he was meant to lead. Not one as an assassin. It makes me long for what should have been.