Moving On
by Aimless
Chapter 4 - Catch Me, I'm Falling
After Chloe’s little show I decide that I really don’t want their help. While they are so wrapped up in each other I open the car door and use it to brace me as I try and get to my feet. There is a pair of crutches in the back seat. All I have to reach back and grab them. I balance on one foot and grit my teeth as pain lances though my leg. Damn it I can do this! I bend over to get the crutches. Big mistake... a wave of dizziness washes over me and it is all I can do to hang onto the car door. The crutches I’m reaching for fall to the garage floor making a hell of a racket and I nearly follow them. The only thing keeping me upright is the car itself. My eyes are closed as I try not to be sick all over the floor. I feel an arm wrap around my waist.
“Ken you idiot. You should have waited in the car.” I stiffen at the comment and try to pull away. All I need is for Aya to call me names in front of Chloe.
Now I really don’t want their help. “I’m not an idiot... what is it with you people? So I had an accident. That does not make me clumsy or stupid. I’m sure the both of you got a good little laugh out of poor Ken. Just leave me the hell alone!” My dramatic exit was spoiled by two things... not being able to walk and now Chloe’s arm joined Aya’s to try and keep me in one spot.
“Ken calm down you’ll only hurt yourself if you keep fighting us.” Chloe’s calm cool voice did nothing to check my anger. I need to get away from the both of them. Why the hell couldn’t Free have picked me up from the hospital?
I take a deep breath and shove them both hard. Chloe and Aya stumble backward. I’m in no mood to be coddled by the two people responsible for my constant state of confusion. I don’t want to be calm either. I just want to get to my room, take some pills and pass out. Taking a few deep breaths I reach for the crutches again. The cut on my hand aches like a bitch and the doctor told me to try and not use the hand for a couple of days. Oh well so much for that idea. All I have to do is get to my room and I can pretend none of the past few days ever happened. I’m even debating whether or not I want to come out again.
This time I overbalance and fall. I guess this is proof that I’m clumsy. I wince in anticipation of how much hitting the concrete floor is going to hurt. So imagine my surprise when the thing I land on is soft and yielding. The impact is gentle and even though the slight distance to the floor is stopped my wounds make a wave of nausea rise. I’m more than content to lie there for a few moments and just breathe.
That is until a voice with more than a hint of a smirk jars me back to just what it is I’m lying on. “Well Ken-Ken, I guess you really do care. It seems you have made yourself quite comfortable.”
I really don’t want to open my eyes. I wonder if they’ll let me crawl quietly away. Reluctantly though I do need to move. The position I’m in is hideously uncomfortable and my leg is throbbing hard enough to make me even more light headed. I do open my eyes and look at the person I landed on as I fell. Sure enough I’m sprawled on top of Chloe. He must have dived forward to catch me and cushion my fall. Can the night possibly get any worse?
“If you two are done playing?” Aya’s question further reminds me of the position I’m in. “Ken you need to get some rest and the floor is not the best place to do that. Why are you being so difficult? We’re only trying to help you.”
Aya is wearing his disapproving face. It’s one I have come to know well over the years. His statement takes me a bit aback. Help me? Help me to do what? It’s what they want that scares the hell out of me.
“Well Gee Aya I thought I’d stay down here. Even if it makes me want to scream in pain.” I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my answer. He’s genuinely trying to help me but I don’t have it in me right now to put up with their little game.
“Hmm Aya… I do not mind if he stays here. It’s quite nice to hold him and perhaps I can get another kiss.” I’m afraid my mouth gapes open at Chloe’s little confession. Also once again I’m blushing like a school girl. That’s it Aya will kill us both.
I start to shove Chloe and end up accidentally kicking him rather hard. This time when I lose my balance and am dumped backward I do hit the floor. Granted it was only a fall of mere inches but my body yells in protest. I can’t hold back the pained groan.
“All right that is it! Chloe help me get him up. No more arguments Ken. So just shut up and let us help you.” Uh oh Aya is using his I-am-the-leader-you-will-not-dare-disobey-me voice. Besides I hurt too damn much to fight them anymore.
I know I must look as bad as I feel and by the time they lever me to my feet I’m shaking. Ok so it was stupid of me to fight them so hard but dammit they have me so confused. I care about Aya… too much and their behavior towards me emphasizes how alone I really am. The glimpses that Aya and Chloe show me of their life make me wish for something that I can’t have. So their teasing is like a knife to the gut. I don’t know what they hope to accomplish but Chloe’s flirting is only making it worse. The most unnerving thing of all is Aya being so touchy feelie with me. I can’t conceive why. Other than I’m the only thing left to remind him of Weiss.
I have to give Chloe credit though for making Aya live again. After he lost Yohji he was rapidly becoming the unfeeling bastard he was when Weiss was first brought together. Chloe breezed into his life and didn’t relent till Aya opened up to him. Since then they have been inseparable. It’s only these last several months I noticed him withdrawing again. Though I was too wrapped up in my unrequited feelings for Aya to ask him what the problem was. Even if I had I would not have expected an answer… Aya had never really opened up to me and I didn’t expect him to now.
The trip upstairs is humiliating enough with the both of them practically carrying me. If I had the energy I would have tried to make it up on my own but my previous attempt ended so spectacularly that I didn’t want to try it again. Plus Aya really would hit me. It’s a good thing that all I can think about is getting to bed or the embarrassment of having them so close would’ve made me blush again. Even so their scent surrounds me and I breathe it in grateful for the distraction. It’s so damned unfair… they’re so beautiful. Aya would laugh at me for calling him that but it was true. Handsome just does not cover it. That’s the reason I can not figure out why they are paying so much attention to me. It’s got to be a misunderstanding… just two team mates helping another. Yeah right … like I believe that. It’s some elaborate joke and I’m getting sick of waiting for the punch line. But I’m repeating myself again. It’s just so hard to grasp that Chloe and Aya are paying so much attention to me.
Despite being very unnerved I have no choice but to let them help me up the stairs and to my room. Their linked arms rest low on my back and I’m very aware of the warmth of their bodies through the thin cotton scrubs. They’re supporting almost my full weight since I’m so bloody tired and hurt more than seems necessary for my injuries. I hate being so helpless and the recent baffling behavior of Chloe and Aya really is not helping at all. I can’t shake the image of the two of them kissing. I wonder for one brief moment what it would be like if… no, no, no. Mustn’t go there. I don’t want to have those thoughts with them so close. Chloe smells of roses and the leather from his trench coat. It’s a heady combination that makes me want to burrow my nose under the collar and inhale deeply.
I must have some kind of leather fetish; the coat is a deep wine red and very supple. Aya is also dressed in leather. His jacket is black and hits him mid-thigh. The spiciness of his aftershave surrounds me and have the same urge to cover myself in that scent. He smells of home. I want to reach out and touch them both. It must be the head injury making me loopy. I’m really not myself… why else would I be thinking these things?
The door to my room is a most welcome sight. It seems like it took forever to get from the car to this point. Thank goodness I cleaned it several days ago. Normally there would be clothes scattered about and assorted other items littering the place. Really though I’m not near the slob I used to be. Therapy taught me that control starts with my environment. It’s the one thing in my chaotic life that I could have complete charge of. I slowly took back my life one small step at a time.
Another one of my vices since moving to England is that I love auctions. I would go to estate sales with an excited Michel in tow and buy beautifully made furniture. My bed is a massive mahogany Queen Anne four poster with clawed feet. I never thought I’d hear the end of the complaining as everyone helped get it upstairs after the truck delivered it. Oddly enough I was not teased for my purchases. Chloe even commented that I had some taste after all. The rest of the suite of furniture is equally impressive. A Belgian armoire and a bow front dresser all in the same type of wood. The pieces did not match each other but I picked them because I like the way they look. Plus the age of the pieces and their substantial weight comfort me and make me feel like this is really my permanent home. Also as much as I like rising early in the morning I do like my little luxuries. The bed is piled with pillows and a big navy blue down comforter. Chloe reaches down and opens my door and for once there were no comments on the state of my living quarters. I groan at the thought of sinking into my bed and sleeping for a few days.
“Hang on Ken we’re almost to the bed. Then you can have a pain pill and rest.” Aya guides me to the bed while Chloe disappears into the bathroom.
I suffer through Aya helping me into bed and taking off those stupid hospital slippers. I keep my mouth shut as he props my leg up on some of the pillows. It feels so good to finally be off my feet and in my decadently soft bed.
“Are you done with your little tantrum Ken? Honestly I do not see why you fought us so much.” Aya’s disapproving tone causes my temper to flare despite my fatigue.
“Well If you would act like yourself and not some pod person maybe I would’ve let you help me. You and Chloe are freaking me out… it’s like you two have been replaced by aliens or something.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. Doesn’t he even realize?
“You are not making any sense Ken. I think you need some sleep. Here’s your medicine, now take it like a good boy and perhaps I’ll give you a treat.” Chloe’s smile is really getting on my nerves. He’s come back into the room and is holding two white pills in front of my face along with a glass of water.
“Ken just take the pills.” Oh great now they are ganging up on me.
“Fine. Anything to get you two out of here.” I open my mouth like a good little boy and take the damn pills. The water is held up to my mouth and I manage to not let any dribble down my chin.
“Now for your treat…” My eyes widen as Chloe leans in close. He won’t… he can’t… I recoil a bit but there is no escape. I close my eyes and feel the briefest warmth caress my cheek and a slight pressure. He kissed my cheek... perhaps Aya will let me live. Warily I crack open one eye and am met with the intensity of Chloe’s light blue eyes. He’s still way too close. I feel warm all of a sudden and am not sure if it is the man in front of me or the medication.
“Are you done yet?” this is getting ridiculous. I feel too crappy to play along.
“Hmmm… for now. You’re too hurt for anything else.” He then gives me a look I can’t even begin to figure out. Kind of a half smile with a smirk attached. I also don’t even want to think about what he just said. I’m just relieved that after he says a few words to Aya that I can’t hear then Chloe leaves shutting the door on the way out.
I breathe a sigh of relief and wallow in the floaty feeling from the pills. They must have given me some good ones. Then it occurs to me that I’m not alone. Aya is still in the room. I look over at him and wonder why he has not left as well.
“How are you feeling now?” His smooth deep voice is oddly soothing.
“Kinda out of it.” The pain is melting away and sleep seems a real possibility. “Pain going away. Why’re you still here?”
“The doctor wants someone to look out for you tonight. I said I ‘d stay.” Aya pulls a chair up to the bed and sits down. His hand brushes the hair away from my forehead. Then lightly traces the bruises decorating my face. I find it hard to even breathe as he touches me. “You really made a mess of yourself Ken.”
I’m disappointed when he stops and pulls the covers up under my chin. I fear I must have a rather goofy smile on my face. Pain pills do that to me.
“S’alright. Seems to be just my luck.” I’m so tired at this point I can barely keep my eyes open. The last sight I see as I drift off is Aya looking at me kinda wistfully. I also must be imagining the brush of lips against mine. If not for the drugs I certainly would not have murmured two words that might get me into a lot of trouble when I wake up… that is if I even remember I said them.
“Love you…