Blue Balls
by Aimless
“Braaaaaaaaad… Close the window dammit I’m freezing my nuts off.” Schuldig whined as he curled into a tighter ball on the bed.
Truly he was cold and that incessant draft was making him shiver. He swore his feet were blocks of ice and his hands were numb. Why was it so fucking cold? Blearily Schuldig attempted to crack open one eye but the hangover threatened to make him roll over and die. He fought with his leader the night before and had gone on quite the bender.
The red head had to literally pry his eyes open with shaking fingers. Light immediately stabbed him in the brain and his stomach threatened to rebel completely. Plus why was it still so fucking cold? With an immense effort Schuldig raised his head and opened his eyes again. The first thought that came to his alcohol soaked brain was… What the fuck? Followed by… How the hell?
It appeared that his bed was in the middle of the roof of the building where they had the penthouse. There were no blankets on the bed and he appeared to be completely naked. Schuldig tried to think how he came to be in such a predicament. This was quite an accomplishment for his poor aching head.
It had indeed started last night when Schuldig tried to get his on again off again lover to acknowledge his existence. Brad claimed to be busy and pushed him away. This had escalated into a screaming match mostly generated by the volatile red head. The calmer Brad appeared the madder Schuldig got. Until he was so fed up the telepath stormed out before he hit Crawford on his smug chin.
Schuldig gravitated to the loudest, seediest clubs until almost unable to walk, he staggered to a cab and rode home. Feeling exceedingly horny, the redhead heard Brad’s shower running and with a grin snuck into the master bathroom. Anticipating a bout a make-up shower sex Schuldig stripped naked and flung the glass door wide…
It was a tie to who was more shocked. Schuldig or Nagi. The next thing the telepath saw was a bar of soap hurtling at mach 5 toward his face. Then he’d awoken on this nipple tormenting cold rooftop in his own bed.
Angrily Schuldig stalked to the steel door only to find it barred from the other side. He pulled on the sealed door in frustration before stalking back to the bed. How the hell was he going to get off the roof and get his bed back down to his own room? Plus having a hangover from hell was not helping matters any.
Despite the pounding in his skull he tentatively sent out a call for Brad. Only to receive no answer at all. Fuck! He still must be pissed off. It would do no good to call for Farf since he was still most likely confined from his last psychotic episode. His only hope was the chibi that put him here in the first place. Schuldig sent out a mental feeler and sure enough Nagi was in his room on the computer.
{Um… Nagi? Why am I naked on the roof?} Schu got the impression of a very annoyed chibi.
(Because you are a pervert.} Came back the terse reply.
{Well what the hell were you doing in Brad’s shower? Or is there something going on I need to know about?} Schuldig could not resist even though the innuendo was likely to make Nagi mad.
{Like I said you are a complete pervert and I thought you needed to cool your head a bit. Besides the other bathroom’s drain was clogged and Crawford said I could use his.} Nagi snickered at the image of Schu naked on the roof.
{Naaaagi… open the door my balls are turning blue! Please? Besides I had no idea it was you in the shower.} Schuldig had to swallow his sarcastic reply to Nagi’s dig about his hot nature and plead most humbly. He really was fucking cold.
{Open the door yourself. Now get out of my head!} Nagi’s shields went up and even though Schuldig could punch through them he did not want to hurt the kid… well not much any way.
After a good amount of cursing and arm waving Schuldig calmed down enough and with chattering teeth he set about to mentally coerce the maintenance man to open the door. As he waited he planned his revenge.