Konoha ER
by Aimless
Konoha emergency room.
A place usually filled with injured ninja covered in wounds gotten from vigorous training or defending their city. Today though it held a dozen thoroughly, disgustingly ill children and their distraught parents. Basins hastily given out by the attendant med nins kept the spewage mess down to a minimum.
The other two adult occupants sat as far away from the whiny kids as possible. They had come in together but sat with a chair between them. The slightly smaller man fidgeted and wriggled in his seat but had no other outward signs of injury.
“This is all your fault!” Hissed the brown haired man.
“Iruka how can this possibly be my fault? I had no idea this would happen. Honestly.” He held his hand placatingly out and returned stinging fingers to his lap when it was slapped away.
“Well Kakashi I wanted to spend a quiet weekend in my apartment with my frequently absent lover. But Noooooo…you had other plans. You just had to go camping. Said it would be romantic. Said we wouldn’t be disturbed. Especially by Naruto. Who I think still is not over the shock of seeing what you were doing to me on the living room couch when he burst in unannounced the last time.” Iruka glared and squirmed some more on the hard plastic seat.
“It was romantic. I had a nice tent set up. A cozy campfire. A rabbit roasting over said fire. Even a bottle of that sake you like so much. One little accident…” Kakashi knew that his placating tone was only infuriating his lover. But he was right this time…it was not his fault.
“Ok I admit it was nice. You get an “A” for effort. But I could be maimed for life. Arrgh…I think it’s spreading!” Iruka’s hands brushed at the legs of the oversized sweat pants he was wearing.
“I couldn’t resist ok? When you bent over like that I lost all control.” Kakashi wished someone would call their name so Iruka could get treated. Then maybe some part of the weekend could be salvaged before he got sent out again.
“I turned and bent over because I dropped my marshmallow. How was I to guess that you would have my swimming trunks around my ankles and me pressed against a tree before I could protest. Honestly we had a perfectly nice sleeping bag all set up in the tent.” Iruka whined as he did another full body shimmy.
“I couldn’t resist. Besides you were the one that was humping said tree when I put my tongue in your…” Kakashi’s words were hastily halted by Iruka’s hand.
The reason for his abrupt silencing stood there dressed in a white smock. Her pink hair held back with a leaf insignia head band.
“Iruka-sensei? Are you hurt? Your name is on my chart.”
“Sakura-chan um…no not really. I just have a…well little problem. Ah…is there any one else that can see me?” Iruka hastily removed his hand from Kakashi’s mask after his fingers were nipped through the thin fabric.
Sakura looked at her former teacher carefully. Aside from squirming in what had to be discomfort she did not detect any other symptoms. It was not really much of a surprise to see them together. Not since a little over a month ago Naruto had come banging on her door looking more than a little shell shocked. He blurted out that his former teacher and team captain had been together at Iruka’s house. Together in the sense that needed nakedness and thus severely traumatizing the blond.
Sakura shook her head at the discrete distance Kakashi and Iruka kept from each other. Really who did they think they were fooling? Naruto had a big mouth and truthfully Sakura was glad to see them finally together. Even if it meant she lost the bet she made with Ino over a year ago. Sakura had been sure that Kakashi would have made the first move ages ago. Ino bet it would take much longer or a life and death situation to get them to admit how they felt about each other. She had been right on both counts.
“I’m sorry Iruka-sensei but I’m the only one who is not busy. We had a bad case of food poisoning over at the dormitories. All the other med nins are busy. I’m all you’ve got.” Sakura tried to smile reassuringly.
“Well in that case I’ll just be going. I can take care of this myself and…” Iruka blushed bright crimson and tried to stand up. Kakashi’s arm on his shoulder kept him from fleeing.
“Iruka! You are going to stay and get treated. You are obviously in pain.” Technically Kakashi out ranked the teacher and Iruka knew it. He did not pull rank often but judging by his voice Kakashi was serious.
Flushing an even more lovely shade of beet red the sullen ninja got awkwardly to his feet again. “Fine lets get this over with so I can go home and die of shame.”
“Iruka-sensei follow me please. Really you have nothing to be ashamed of I am a professional.” Sakura led the way through a maze of curtained alcoves. She would never admit it but her mind was whirling with the implications of her former teacher’s odd walk. She really hoped Kakashi had not hurt him. She’d hate to have to punch her captain through the wall. Plus she had to fight down her own surge of embarrassment at the situation.
She pulled the one of the curtains aside to reveal a small room with a cabinet, a stool and an examination table covered with a white sheet. She went to a cupboard and removed a folded garment.
“Please remove your clothes and put this on. I’ll be right with you. Kakashi-sensei are you sure you don’t want to wait outside?” Sakura intended to try and leave Iruka some dignity and not be there as he undressed.
“I’m staying.” Kakashi leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.
Sakura knew better than to argue and left them to do as she asked. She could hear a muffled argument through the curtain but was too polite to eavesdrop. When the voices stopped she hesitated outside.
“Iruka-sensei are you ready?” She’d like to get this over with as soon as possible too.
“Y…yes Sakura. I’m ready.” Replied the hushed voice of the brown haired ninja.
She took a deep breath and summoned her most business like demeanor. Sakura slipped into the room and stood in front of the table. Iruka sat there still slightly squirming and looking at the floor in acute misery. She grabbed a clipboard and pencil.
“So what seems to be the problem?” She was prepared for the worst and mentally ran down the remedies for torn and abraded skin.
“Well…ah you see…um I was in the woods and I seemed to have…ah. That is I…” Iruka stammered unable to continue.
“Oh for god’s sake! We went camping in the woods. We had a tryst and Iruka rubbed his delicate bits against something that made him all swollen, red and itchy.” Kakashi rolled his eyes as he spilled the beans.
“KAKASHI!” Iruka screeched totally mortified.
“Oh please as if she didn’t know! I’m sure Naruto ran and told her first after he caught me giving you a blow j…”
“SHUT UP! One more word and I swear I’ll never let you touch me again!” Iruka flailed his arms.
“Ah…um…ok. Tell me was ah…said tryst on the ground? It sounds like an allergic reaction. Do you remember what the plants looked like in the area?” Sakura delicately asked hoping Iruka would calm down.
“Oh why me? Gah! I was up against a tree ok? I think it had vines on it with blue leaves.” Iruka mumbled.
Sakura went over to a shelf and pulled a large book down and thumbed through the worn pages. She held the book out to show her former teacher.
“Did it look like this?” The picture she held up was of a vining plant with blue leaves and white berries.
“Ah yes that is it I think. They were all around the clearing we were camping in.” Iruka guessed after taking a good look.
“Ah Bindweed. We use it in itching powder that some nins use for distraction. Some are more allergic than others to it. I’m sorry Iruka-sensei but you’ll have to let me see the effected area.” Sakura forced herself not to blush.
Iruka sighed in defeat. He was in utter misery and just wanted to stop itching so he could go home and curl up under the covers. He lay back on the table and nodded to his former student. Kakashi took his hand and Iruka let him. Needing a bit of comforting. He wondered if you could die from embarrassment.
Sakura once more adopted her professional mien and lifted the paper gown. She folded it back and exposed the enflamed area. Iruka’s whole groin was swollen, red and blistery. She hissed in sympathy. Her empathy overruling her discomfort at seeing her teacher like this.
“You seem to be one of the few who are extremely allergic to the sap of this plant. I’m sorry but I have to well finish the examination. I can make you more comfortable. Hold still please.” Sakura placed her hands a few inches above the affected skin and channeled her chakra.
“Ok just make it stop itching. Please.” Iruka closed his eyes and turned his head away.
As the healing energy flowed into his body the teacher sighed in relief. After a few moments Sakura lifted her hands and examined the skin. The blisters were all but gone and so was most of the swelling. The area was still red though but she had healed as much as she dared in such a delicate area. The rest was up to Iruka. She lowered his garment and stepped over to the cabinet and removed a tube of ointment. She scrawled instructions on a paper label. Sakura handed the tube to Iruka as he was sitting up. They unconsciously avoided eye contact.
“Ah I’ll let you apply some of this cream before you get dressed. Coat the area liberally three times a day for a week. If you need more just come see me. Oh and no…er…well sexual contact until you are fully healed.” This time Sakura did blush.
“Thank you Sakura. For treating me and making this situation as painless as possible.” Iruka smiled slightly. He was really proud of how far his former student had matured over the years. Also of how talented a healer she had become.
“You’re welcome Iruka-sensei.” Then she looked at Kakashi and whapped him on the arm. “You heard me…no touchy until he is better.” Sakura glared a moment and then giggled at the incredulous look on her captain’s face.
“What? I wasn’t planning anything!” Kakashi tried to sound innocent but failed miserably.
Sakura smiled again at them both and left them alone. Iruka reached for the tube and gingerly applied the thick paste to his privates. He moaned in relief as the itching stopped completely.
“You know I can help you with that.” Kakashi offered with a grin.
“You are not touching me for a week!” Iruka glared.
“But…but we can still do OTHER things.” Kakashi whined.
“You heard me! Nothing for a week!” Iruka got dressed and left the cubical.
Kakashi heaved a huge sigh and hung his head dejectedly. He trailed behind Iruka like a dog that had lost his favorite bone. A whole week…maybe Tsunade had a mission for him…a particularly violent mission.
He suddenly felt the need to work off a lot of incipient frustration.