FINAL FANTASY VII
Just One of Those Days
by Aimless
“Yo Rude! Tell me again why we’re stuck in this transport truck in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere?”
Rude maneuvered the truck over the rough terrain with consummate skill. Avoiding all the huge potholes in the once smooth roadway. He glanced over at his partner who sprawled in the seat next to him. Reno’s chin rested in the palm of his hand as he stared dispiritedly out the window.
The larger man simply quirked one brow at the redhead and pushed his sunglasses up his nose with an index finger.
“Ok, OK how was I supposed to know those chemicals were flammable? No one told me! I never would have lit that cigarette and accidentally dropped the match. I’m sure the Boss’s eyebrows will grow back, the doc said so.” Reno let out a heavy sigh and pulled his coat in tighter around his lean frame. Even with the heater going the cab of the truck was like an icebox.
Rude winced as the truck grinded to a near halt as the tires spun a little in the mud covering a particularly swampy area. He’d never hear the end of it if they had to push the truck out if it got stuck. That is he’d be outside pushing and Reno would be snug in the cab steering. The large Turk swore the lanky read head would be the death of him. But what a way to go. Rude glanced once more at his partner.
Reno’s lips were tilted into a pout and his forehead crinkled as he sighed loudly.
“You know what? It’s odd too that ALL the choppers were grounded for maintenance. What’s up with that? Fuck I’m bored! Yo partner wanna pull over for a little while?”
Reno turned a decidedly lascivious grin on Rude and the dark skinned man felt his pulse jump. Rude had to bite his lip as Reno’s hand slid up his thigh. Rude cursed as Reno’s hand skimmed to his crotch and gripped the slight bulge in his trousers.
“Reno…” Rude forced out from between clenched teeth. He grabbed that dexterous hand and dropped it back into the lap of its owner.
“Aw come on. I’m bored. You know you want me to.” Reno licked his lips and lowered his shades. He peered at his partner over the rims and winked.
“We can’t. The boss needs those mining core samples yesterday. You’re already in enough trouble.” Rude pointedly looked out the windshield lest he be tempted to pull over anyway.
“Fine! I’ll just listen to the radio.” Reno huffed and then tried to find a radio station in all the static. He gave up after a while with a loud sigh.
“Ruuuuuuuuude.” Reno whined.
“What.” Gah! It was like taking a car trip with a five year old Rude thought.
“I’m boooooooored. Are we there yet?” Reno propped his chin in his hand and played with the tail of fiery red hair that hung over his shoulder.
“Glove box.” Was all Rude said as he steered around another large crater in the road.
Reno’s face lit up into a delighted smile as he eagerly opened the compartment. Rude knew he really shouldn’t but anything to keep Reno occupied. The red head actually squealed in delight as he pulled out a pack of his favorite brand of cigarettes and a lighter. He pulled one out of the package and lit the end. Inhaling blissfully Reno blew smoke out the window he cranked down a bit.
“Yo Rude. Thanks!” Reno leaned over and kissed Rude on the cheek. The he settled back to savor his first smoke in days.
Rude enjoyed the silence while it lasted. After the flaming chemical debacle Rufus demanded that Reno quit smoking. It had been incredibly hard on the red head to quit. But he had cut back and Rude was glad. Those things were unhealthy but if he chose to dole one out every once in a while it was worth it to keep his lover content.
The truck passed by a dilapidated sign. Reno glanced at the words.
‘Knob Lick 35 miles’
“Knob Lick? Who the fuck names a town Knob Lick? Is that where we’re headed?” Reno frowned. He completely hated the country and the yokels that inhabited these weirdly named towns.
“Yup that would be the place.” Rude replied.
“Fucking lovely! The sooner we get this job done the better.” Reno slouched down in his seat and rolled his eyes.
By the time Rude pulled the truck into the small town rain was lightly spattering the dust covered windshield. Turning it into a muddy, smeared mess. He stopped the engine in front of a fuel station. It also looked like it housed a small diner and was the hub of the entire town.
Reno looked dispiritedly out the window at the collection of old men sitting on the dilapidated front porch. He petulantly stuck his tongue out at their interested stares.
“Reno behave. Don’t harass the locals.” Rude shook his head at his partner’s antics.
“Why not? It’s not like they are gonna do anything about it. Besides you know I’d never really mess with em. Let’s get this over with so I can go home.” Reno sighed and opened the truck door.
The red head frowned up at the leaden sky. Reno pulled the collar up on his down filled grey parka and stepped out. Cold water rushed over his feet up to the ankles as he realized he was standing in a puddle. Cursing Reno sidestepped and looked down at his mud covered leather shoes. They were ruined and he’d not even owned them a month.
Rude bit his lip to stop the smile from creeping across his face as he watched his partner. Reno stomped up to the porch making squelching noises as he walked.
The old men uneasily eyed the Shinra logo on the truck as Reno leaned against a post and sullenly surveyed the scenery. Mostly a farming community the town consisted of this building. A grocery store, hardware store and feed store lined the main street. Small houses made up the rest with a set of train tracks leading behind the grainery. Rude guessed that was how the town exported their goods.
“Can I help you boys?” A gap toothed old man asked as he spat tobacco juice in a narrow stream. Narrowly missing Reno’s foot.
“We’re here to pick up some samples from the mine. Where can we find it?” Rude ignored Reno’s grunt of dissatisfaction.
“That old place? I heard tell of possibly opening it up again. It’s up that way…yonder.” The old man pointed to a rutted path at the edge of town leading up the side of the mountain.
“We’ll never get the truck up that!” Reno complained. He eyed the steep path and decided he really hated Rufus Shinra right now. No matter how fine his ass looked in those tailored slacks.
“Any idea how we can get up there sir?” Rude asked respectfully. If he left the asking up to his partner they’d be run out of town on a rail.
“Well let’s see…my cousin Pete raises Chocobos. They’re used to the mountain terrain. I imagine he’d let ya rent a couple for the trek up there. You’d better hurry though…it’ll be dark soon. He owns the feed store. Stables are around back.” The tobacco chewing elder smiled. It was the sort of smile that made Reno nervous. Like he knew something the red head didn’t.
“No help for it Partner. Rufus wants those samples. Let’s go and see about renting some transportation.” Rude grabbed Reno’s arm and hauled him off the porch.
“Hey wait a minute! Who said I was going too! It’s wet, cold and muddy! Let Rufus get his own damned samples.” Reno hissed as the wind blew a face full of rain in his direction.
“You want to get in even more trouble? Button it and come on.” Rude growled. Reno was getting on his last nerve.
Reno knew when to push his partner and when not to. Rude’s expression warned him that the big man had enough of his antics.
“Fine but I don’t have to like it.” The red head grumbled as he followed behind his lover.
The ground was pitted with slush filled ruts and there was no way for either of them to keep their feet dry. Rude wondered daily why he put up with such a high maintenance partner. But then all he had to do was turn and look into his partner’s vivid blue eyes and see the uncompromising trust. One quirk of Reno’s sensuous mouth and Rude was lost. Oh yeah he had it bad.
Reno hadn’t been put off by his gruff, don’t fuck with me exterior. Even from day one when Rude found out he was to be teamed with the loud mouthed kid. He’d been unable to ignore the red head’s infectious charm and lust for life. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to deepen their partnership. Something that was not spoken of among the Turks but not forbidden either. It was important for their partnered agents to have utter confidence in each other. Rude was a stabilizing influence on the brash young man.
“Rude hey wait up! Man I hate wet squishy socks! Are you sure I can’t go and wait in the truck?” Reno linked his arm with Rude’s.
“Yes. Remember partner this is your punishment that I got sucked into.” Rude tried to keep the grin off his face as Reno pouted.
Even though the walk to the feed store was short the cold drizzle managed to find its way under the collar of Reno’s parka to trickle down the back of his neck. He followed his partner around back to a stable with an empty corral. An elderly man was just stepping out of the barn when they approached.
He was dressed in a mud stained pair of coveralls and a cowboy hat covered what was left of his hair. The man squinted at the two strangers.
“Can I help you boys?” he asked in a gravelly voice.
Rude spoke before his partner could put his foot in his mouth again.
“We need to visit the mine and were told we could rent some transportation.” Rude leaned against a fence post and ignored the rain that dripped off the hood of his coat.
“In this weather? Well I reckon I can help you out. But its gonna cost you extra. I only got two birds that don’t mind the rain and are used to the trail up the mountain.” The old man peered at Reno.
“You city boys ever been on a chocobo?” The old man wondered if he should reconsider his offer.
“Uncle of mine raised em. I spent a summer or two there as a teenager.” Rude replied.
Reno looked at his partner. This was surprising news. But then he didn’t really know much at all about Rude’s past. His lover never supplied the information and Reno never asked. It made him realize how little he knew of the man he shared a bed with.
“You’re shitting me!” Reno shook his head.
“Nope. Now how about you show us what you got.” Rude asked politely.
“What about him? He ever been on one?” The elder jerked a thumb in Reno’s direction.
“No but how hard can it be?” Reno stated with a confidence he didn’t feel.
That statement proved to be a damning one.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Reno disgustedly swiped wet, muddy hair out of his face. He lay flat on his back in more of the clammy substance which was trying to ooze into his clothing. The red head gasped for breath as his lungs tried to inflate. All the air had been forcibly expelled when the damned bird bucked him off like a prized rodeo bull.
“Not one fucking word Rude! Unless you want my EMR shoved somewhere really uncomfortable.” Reno decided despite the mud he was going to lay here for a while contemplating BBQ chocobo.
“I thought you said you could handle it partner.” Rude really tried to keep from laughing. Not even someone as stoic as him could keep the smile off his face.
Reno’s only response was a one fingered salute in Rude’s general direction.
“I don’t rightly know what happened. Charlotte here is the gentlest bird I got. Even my grandkids can ride her. I guess she just took a disliking to ya.” The elderly man whose name they learned was Pete scratched his head.
“The damned thing is a demon with feathers. She tried to kill me!” Reno climbed awkwardly to his feet with his hands pressed to his aching back.
“Aw now don’t say that young fellow you’ll hurt her feelings. See she is gentle as a lamb.” Pete scratched the bird’s head and she ‘warked’ in delight.
“A rabid lamb. Don’t you have anything else?” Reno swore the bird was giving him the evil eye.
“Nope she’s it I’m afraid. Mr. Rude here is on Demon and he took to him right away. Usually he does not like anyone to ride him.” Pete steadied the reins and waited for Reno to try again.
Reno spared a glance at the large black feathered monster Rude sat easily upon. He would not have ridden that one on a bet. He hated how natural Rude looked astride the powerful bird.
His chocobo on the other hand was a medium sized bird. She had pastel green plumage and large golden eyes. She blinked her long eyelashes at Pete and cooed at him as she preened his damp grey hair. Figures he’d end up with a sissy looking pea brain for a mount.
“Come on partner we need to get going. It’ll be dark soon.” Rude chastised him and Reno flushed. Technically Rude outranked him but he rarely used that authority.
“Fine!” Reno Huffed. “But if this bird goes psycho on me I’m fighting back.” Reno wiped his muddy hands on the seat of his pants and grabbed the reins one more time.
Pete steadied the bird as Reno awkwardly climbed into the saddle. Reno sat stiff as a board on Charlotte. All seemed well until Pete handed Reno the reins. The red head took the straps gingerly and lightly applied heel pressure to the side of the chocobo like he’d been shown. Obediently Charlotte trotted forward.
Just as Reno relaxed in the saddle all hell broke loose.
Charlotte took off despite Reno’s frantic tugs on the reins. Rude slapped his hand over his eyes not wanting to watch the impending disaster. As if drawn there by a magnet Charlotte headed straight for the left gate post. It truly did not occur to Reno to jump. He was busy cursing at the top of his lungs while thumping the bird on top of her head.
“Gods Damn it! Will you stop you fucking moron of a waste of a feather duster!” Reno then glanced at where they were heading. “Oh Fuck No! Stop! Shit!”
Charlotte then proceeded to accomplish a gravity defying maneuver. She jumped straight at the post. Neatly scraping the annoying human off her back. Reno flew backward off the bird. His arms flailed as he tried frantically to find something to hang on to.
The irate chocobo let out a pained squawk and took off out of the paddock. She ran up onto the back porch of the feed store and glared balefully at the red head sprawled once more in the mud.
Reno lay in a crumpled heap and prayed none of his limbs were broken. As the world spun dizzily around him he did not even realize what was clenched in his hands. No less than six long fluffy tail feathers waved in the breeze like a banner of surrender.
Rude sighed loudly. He dismounted and handed the reins to the old man. Then went to see if Reno was still alive.
Pete managed to sum up the situation perfectly.
“Well that’s gonna leave a mark.” He observed and spat a stream of tobacco juice into the dirt near his foot.
The distressed bird cautiously returned to its owner and buried her head under Pete’s arm.
Reno stared up at the dismal grey sky and asked himself why he didn’t take choice number two of his punishment. I mean scrubbing out Mako reactor tanks with a toothbrush could not be as bad as this. Could it? As he slowly remembered how to breathe a darkly fuzzy outline blotted out his view of the scenery.
Rude looked down at Reno and sighed. His vibrant red hair now liberally speckled with mud. The tail of which lay sodden and draped across Reno’s face like some mutant mustache. A handful of feathers still clutched tightly in his fist completed the ridiculous picture.
“Are you ok partner?” Rude plucked the feathers from Reno’s hand and tucked them into his jacket. Then he extended an arm for the soggy redhead to grasp.
“Do I look ok to you? Yo Rufus can take those mining core samples and shove them right up his ass.” Reno grabbed the outstretched arm. With a pained grunt Reno pulled himself to his feet.
“Ah...do you really think that is such a good idea?” Rude knew Reno was just blowing off some steam. But someday his mouth was really going to get him into trouble.
“Fuck it all let’s just get this over with. Come ere ya stupid over grown chicken.” Reno reached out for the reigns and was rewarded with a swift open beaked attack that left a long rent in the sleeve of his coat.
“I don’t think that is the best way to make friends with her.” Rude observed.
“Ya think? Yo old man ya got anything else to ride around here? Preferably mechanical?” Reno and the bird eyed each other warily from a respectable distance.
“Sorry young feller. These birds are the only things that are going to make it up that path.” Pete spat again and barely missed the toe of Reno’s boot.
“Wait here partner I got an idea.” Rude clapped his lover on the back encouragingly and left Reno standing in the paddock.
Reno wondered if he had time to flee to the truck and lock himself inside. He didn’t know if he could take one more minute in this hick town. Where did Rude go anyway? Ah shit…the old man looked as if he wanted to talk. Reno didn’t speak twang.
“So you here to open the mine again?” Pete stroked the distraught chocobo’s head as it preened his hair.
“Ah…well I guess it depends on what is in the core samples.” Reno edged farther away from the black Chocobo. It looked like it was eying him up for lunch.
“Be good if’n it did. Folks round here could use the work.” Pete glanced up as the tall black man returned.
“Where the hell did you go?” Reno demanded. He was actually relieved to be rescued from the conversation.
“Here take this.” Rude handed his partner a plastic bag.
Reno peered at the contents.
“Marshmallows? What the hell do I do with these?” Reno looked at Rude as if he’d lost his mind.
“You make friends with Charlotte. Chocobos love marshmallows.” Rude’s lip quirked up in a grin.
“No fuckin way.” Reno stuck his lower lip out and sullenly pouted.
“Reno.” Rude growled.
Reno sighed loudly. He knew that tone. It meant his partner and lover was 5 seconds from punching him.
“Fine! Yo! C’mere ya stupid bird.” Reno blew his wet bangs out of his eyes and tore open the bag.
Despite Reno’s aggrieved tone the chocobo’s head swiveled in his direction when it smelled the sweet treat.
“Easy now Reno coax her to you. Only offer her little bits at a time.” Rude instructed.
Eventually and with much feigned patience Reno had the bird eating out of his hand. Rude watched as Charlotte finally let his partner back into the saddle. All Reno had to remember was to feed the bird every once in a while when she became sulky. Rude mounted his own bird and they carefully rode towards the steep path.
The large Turk took the lead and kept a slow pace to give his partner a chance to adjust to the motion of riding the hefty bird. He was confidant that Reno would get the hang of it. The red head had a natural dexterity that would help him keep his seat on the winding trail.