The Day the Music Died
by Aimless
They said he was lucky to be alive even though his driver had died. They said he should be thankful that his injuries were not more severe. Tohma Seguchi head of NG records smiled a tired, drug hazed smile and agreed.
He listened to everything the doctors told him. About needing future surgeries to restore some mobility to his right hand. How much they could not tell him at the time. He nodded until his head swam and still he kept that damned placid grin in place.
Multiple breaks to his right arm, torn ligaments in his shoulder, a broken collar bone were just some of the long list. The truck that had crossed the center line on the highway and broadsided them happened so quickly. Late at night and in a driving rain his car had been forced off the road to end up smashed against a muddy embankment. It had been fortunate that Tohma had been in the back and on the opposite side as his deceased driver. The man had been killed instantly.
That was not the worst of it though. The blond’s hand had suffered the brunt of the impact. So many broken bones that it was like a jig saw puzzle to be put back together. His pinky had almost been severed along with deep lacerations to the palm. Other than that he was generally banged up, bruised and drugged to the gills. The finest surgeons would be called in to work on his hand but only they could do so much. The rest would be left up to Tohma’s determination and months of physical therapy.
Then 2 days after the incident he was allowed visitors. A non-stop stream of them. He scarcely had a moment to himself. First Mika, who much Tohma’s surprise, stayed by his side. Then his band mates Noriko and Ryuichi. The normally hyper singer was oddly subdued and quiet as he stood at Tohma’s bedside clutching his pink bunny. A constant parade of well wishers and reporters were kept at bay by a vigilant K while only close friends and family were let into the room.
Yuki and Shuichi were among the last to visit. The pink haired pop star put a hugely garish flower arrangement on the already overflowing bedside table. Yuki looked apologetically at his long time friend and shrugged. It was apparent that Shu was totally responsible. Tohma would never admit it in a million years though but he found Shuichi’s impulsive hug endearing. So the blond smiled and made small talk until the pain started to return with a vengeance.
A nurse came in to change his dressings and started to shoo everyone out of the room. Mika wanted to linger by her husband’s side and Tohma gently told her that he was ok and that she should go home and spend some time with their daughter. Since the birth of their first child Tohma came to truly appreciate his family and for the first time in years they were rebuilding their relationship. His wife kissed him tenderly on the lips and helped usher everyone out the door. It amazed Tohma that Mika could be so loving. By the look on Yuki’s face he found it rather amazing too.
Finally the only ones left were his oldest and dearest friends. Noriko looked at him with a worried frown and Ryuichi’s eyes shimmered with tears.
“Tohma…the doctor was what he said true? What about…” She was cut off by a wave of the blond’s good arm and a falsely cheerful smile despite the building pain.
“What about playing?” Tohma gave a little laugh. “I run a record company and have a family now. I really don’t have time anymore to play the keyboards. This was just fate’s way of telling me to retire from the band. Really I’m all right. I’m just glad I still have a hand no matter how crippled it is.”
“If you’re sure Tohma. Still if you need anything I’ll come back. Really just call. It’s terrible what happened and I wish there was more I could do.” Noriko sniffled a little as she carefully hugged her friend.
She brushed her tear filled eyes with the back of her hand and kissed Tohma on the cheek. He smiled back at her and said again that everything was fine. Ryu had been inching towards the bed and before Noriko could stop him he climbed in beside Tohma. The nurse frowned at this unseemly display but she really had no right to do anything. After all he had donated the money to build a new pediatric wing on the hospital after the birth of his daughter.
Ryu carefully lay down and rested his head next to Tohma’s on the pillow. He needed the physical closeness when he was upset. Hospitals frankly scared Ryu to death and when he’d heard of Tohma’s accident he’d been inconsolable until he’d seen his best friend in the flesh.
Only when he felt dampness against the neck of his hospital gown did he realize Ryu was crying.
“Hey… none of that. Do you want Kuma to see you cry? I’m ok really. Just like I told Nori.” Tohma wrapped his good arm around his friend.
“T…Tohma I thought you were dead. They showed your car on the TV. T...they said you were in the hospital and no one would let me come see you.” Ryu was shaking slightly and clinging to Tohma hard enough to hurt.
“Come on Ryu the nurse needs to help Tohma and then he needs to get some sleep. We’ll come back tomorrow. I promise.” Noriko had seen the pain her band mate was in and she extricated Ryu from Tohma's bed. She put her arms around him and tried to get him to leave with her.
They had almost gotten to the door when Ryu broke away and ran back over to Tohma’s bedside. Noriko and Tohma’s eyes widened in surprise when Ryu carefully tucked Kumagoro under the blanket next to the blond’s head.
“Kuma wants to stay. He says you need him. He does not want you to be alone here.” Ryu wistfully petted the pink bunny’s silky ears and joined Noriko at the door.
“Are you sure? It’s ok for me to keep him with me for a little while?” Touched by the gesture Tohma actually smiled warmly at his best friend. Ryu was never without Kuma and depended on the bunny like a lifeline.
“Kuma says it’s ok Tohma.” Ryu bit his lower lip and found it hard to leave.
Tohma exchanged a look with Noriko that clearly meant take care of him. She nodded at the blond and ushered Ryu out the door with promises of pizza and hot fudge Sunday’s at her house. Now that everyone was gone the president of NG records allowed the mask to slip as he closed his eyes and groaned at the intense pain of his injuries. The nurse was quick and efficient and before she left she injected another dose of painkillers into the IV. She drew the drapes making the room dim and gloomy.
Now left alone Tohma lay there as the pain ebbed by slow inches till his body felt curiously numb. Left alone to think about the past three days the blond let all the feelings he’d bottled inside come to the surface.
The remorse at the death of his driver. The terror he felt during the accident and the harrowing half hour he was trapped in the wreckage wondering if he would ever see his friends and family again. Then he did something he’d been avoiding… he looked at his mangled mess of a right hand.
His arm was encased in a cast from wrist to his upper arm to immobilize the broken bones. But his hand was bandaged separately to totally stabilize it until the first of the delicate reconstructive surgeries could be done.
They had only repaired his nearly severed pinky but the tendon, muscle and bone damage would have to be trusted to a specialist. Even then he would probably only get about 50% mobility back.
Not enough to play the extensive keyboards in the band that had made him famous. Not enough to let him play the music that had been his escape from his strict and harsh upbringing. Not enough to let him ever feel the joy of totally letting go and losing himself to the beat. It felt like a hole had been torn in his very soul. He couldn’t breathe. His chest was too tight and as he gasped for air the first broken sobs tore their way out of his throat.
Tohma grabbed the stuffed rabbit and held it to his face as he cried. He clutched Kuma tightly in his good hand and curled himself around the soft plushie. It grew wet with his tears and it wouldn’t be the first time.
Ryu had known… he had seen the devastation lurking in Tohma’s eyes. The crushing loss he must have felt being told about the extent of the damage to his hand. That is why Kuma was left behind. To offer comfort when he knew the proud Tohma Seguchi would take it from no one else.
Kuma in the past had offered the dark haired singer the same solace when his demons grew too large to be born. So alone in the dark hospital room he sobbed himself to sleep desperately clutching the now damp and all seeing pink bunny.
The music was gone… his days in Nittle Grasper over.