Love Lost
by Aimless
A frantic banging on my door at 3 am wakes me out of a rather nice dream. I stagger to the door and find Shuichi collapsed on my landing, crying and hugging himself because he’d forgotten his coat. Baka! Sometimes Shu just does not think. I open the door and he latches onto me as if I am the only human being left in the world.
I really can’t stand it when he cries. Ok so Shuichi cries all the time but these tears were different. Heart wrenching and painful they tear at me as Shu clings to my body. He is shivering either from the cold or from his misery. I wonder what that bastard did to him this time. I know that it is useless to try and talk to Shu… not when he is hysterical.
Cold, wet and upset… that makes him a prime target to get sick. I have to get him inside and warm. He must have walked all the way over here. His house slippers are caked with mud which means he has gone through the park. It’s a wonder he wasn’t mugged or worse. Thinking of no other way to get him inside I pick my best friend up and carry him into my apartment.
This place is a far sight bigger than my old apartment. Which had consisted of basically one room and a bath. This one has two bedrooms, a large bathroom, kitchen and balcony. Plus a den for all my guitars and music equipment. But back to the task at hand. I hear Shu sneeze through his tears as I carry him into the bathroom. I intend to get him into a hot shower. I’d done this in the past and most noticeably after he showed up on my doorstep that night Aizawa attacked him. I cried with him as I helped to wash his battered body. I wanted to kill the ones that had done such a horrible thing to Shuichi. I think if Yuki had not actually done something I would have.
Shu still clutches at me as I strip off his clothes. He has lost some weight and there are bruises that stand out on his hips and thighs. Damn Yuki for being so rough. My best friend in the whole world just stands there shivering as I turn on the water for the shower. Once it’s hot enough I open the door and herd Shu inside. Then I go back into the bed room to dig out a t-shirt and some old sweat pants. They are both faded and soft from so many washings.
Hopefully Shuichi is finished with his shower and I can get some sense out of him about what happened tonight. It’s too quiet in the bathroom when I walk in. All I can hear is the sound of running water. At first glance the shower appears empty. I slide the door open and look inside. Shu is on his knees huddled in the corner with his arms wrapped around himself. His face is to the corner but by the way his shoulders shake I can tell he is still crying. I really want to stake Eiri out in the street and run my bike over him several dozen times.
I turn the water off and kneel down next to him. I don’t even care that I get wet as I place my hands on his shoulders. He throws himself in my arms.
“H…Hiro… He told me to leave. Again! I… think he’s cheating on me He won’t talk to me and hardly touches me anymore” I can barely hear his whispered words. The walk over here in the cold rain and the crying jag must have taken what little energy he has left.
“C’mon we need to get you dressed and into bed before you get sick. I’ll take care of you.” I help Shu get to his feet and steer him towards my bedroom. The bed in the spare room is no where near as comfortable and that smaller room is always a little chilly. I’ll sleep there tonight.
I make sure that he gets dressed and into bed. I have to leave for a moment so I go into the kitchen to make some instant soup and tea. I’m so mad at this point that I’m afraid of saying something that would just get Shu angry with me. He’ll still defend that blond bastard no matter what he does to him.
I feel like punching something but Yuki Eiri is untouchable. If I were to lay into him Tohma would make sure I regret it. So I take my frustration out on the wall instead. My fist leaves a sizeable hole and I feel no better. I hold my sore knuckles under the faucet till the bleeding stops and I can breathe calmer again. A few bandages later and I have pulled myself together enough to take Shu the tea and soup I made.
He is huddled on the bed right where I’d left him. I put the tray on the table next to the bed and sit down. Shu has stopped crying and he is just staring at the wall. I wish I could say something to make him feel better but I know that is almost impossible. How many times since Shuichi started seeing Yuki have I had to step in and pick up the pieces?
“Shu you need to eat something. Sit up and have some soup.” I rub his back in a soothing gesture.
“Don’ wanna.” He sniffles.
“Try and get some sleep then. I’ll be in the other room if you need me.” I started to get off the bed when a hand grabs my arm.
“Stay… I don’t want to be alone. I can’t be alone right now. Please.” I don’t hesitate for a second as I climb under the covers.
Shu is still cold and I wrap my arms around him. He snuggles up to me and his warm breath tickles my neck.
“Thanks Hiro… I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He murmurs as he falls asleep curled in my arms.
I place a kiss on his forehead and sigh. I crave moments like this where I can pretend that Shuichi is here because he wants me. I did not realize how much I care for my best friend until I was not the most important thing in his life anymore. He met Yuki Eiri and I got pushed to the side. I did not acknowledge until too late my true feelings for the young man that has been such a big part of my life. Now that he is out of my grasp and with someone else I realize that I love him.