Everything I need
by Aimless
Chapter 2
A month… it had been a month since I abandoned Ginji in that motel room. I had to keep telling myself that he was better off. I had nothing to offer him but some misplaced affection and sappy sentiment. It was a fucking lie but at least if I kept lying to myself I might start to believe it.
I’d managed to find work too. Bodyguard type stuff and other retrieval jobs that I did not bother examining too closely. Without Ginji by my side, ethics did not come into the picture. Oh don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t hurting anyone innocent. Just scum needing to be protected from other scum. While the jobs were morally demeaning, they paid well and I found myself with more cash than I’d seen in years.
I just couldn't figure out why I felt so dirty. Every time I took their money, I had a flush of shame, knowing that Ginji would not have approved.
When I wasn't working, I drowned my sorrows in any convenient dive. The seedier the better because on most nights I was spoiling for a fight. It was how I coped and it was far better than drinking alone in the small apartment I used just to sleep in. Sure I could have afforded better but why? It had a bed, small kitchen and a bathroom. What else did I need? Well if I was totally honest with myself, I’d say I needed an irritating blond by the name of Amano Ginji.
His sweet smile and boyish face haunted my dreams. Then I’d think of how I let him down over and over again. I knew he was better off without me.
I soon got a reputation in most places as a bad ass and the denizens of the rundown bars I frequented made a wide berth around me. I was bored and for the moment between jobs. There was nothing to do with my time but brood, something I had became exceedingly good at. I was always careful not to drink too much and let my guard down. I’d made a few enemies that would like nothing better than to take me out. But tonight I just did not give a shit.
I had a high tolerance for alcohol and it took plenty of drinks to make me comfortably numb. I was camping out in a back booth and was resting my head on my hand nursing a shot of truly vile whisky. Last call came around and I laid some money on the table and staggered out of the bar. I’d left my car at the apartment since the bar was only five or six blocks from my place.
I pulled my jacket tighter around my body as a chill wind made me shiver. It was starting to drizzle and I decided to take a shortcut. The alley in front of me would cut my walk back in half.
The way was dark and littered with trash. Dumpsters filled with the refuse of the bars added to the general reek of the narrow space. The food I’d had earlier began to churn in my stomach and I regretted the greasy hamburger and fries now warring with cheap alcohol. It wasn’t long before a hot wash of bile rose up my throat and I doubled over a trashcan to heave noisily. I’d drunk way too much and was now paying the price. Surge after surge had my guts cramping painfully. I swore then and there that I’d never drink again.
Finally my spasms had eased and pale and sweating I leaned my head against the damp bricks of one of the buildings lining the alley. The coolness felt good against my hot forehead and I tried to will myself to straighten up. Another wave of nausea had me praying that I was not going for round two with my head buried in a foul smelling trashcan. Deep breaths seemed to help and I was able to stand.
It was a total shock when I heard a familiar and mocking laugh. A second later, hot searing pain lanced through both of my shoulders.
I could not bite back an agonizing cry and my legs nearly buckled as I tried to push away from the wall. I was pinned…fuck! My vision swam and I could feel the sluggish trails my blood made under my jacket as it seeped from the wounds in my shoulders.
I recognized that cruel snicker. Akabane had gotten the drop on me and it was not going to be pretty. His knives had penetrated my skin and embedded themselves in the brick. I couldn’t pull away and I couldn’t defend myself. Shit! I winced as a pale hand threaded through my hair. Then, my head was pulled back sharply.
“Well, well. Ban Midou. How far we have fallen?" His low, silky voice oozed over me like black grease. "Drunk and vomiting in an alley in the worst part of town. Why, anyone could just come along and do just about anything to you. How careless.”
“Fuck you! Get the hell away from me you sick bastard!” I could feel him pressed against me and wanted to crawl right out of my skin.
“My, my, such bad manners. Didn’t your mother ever teach you better?" His breath was warm on my neck and his mocking voice was pissing me off. "It probably would have been a wasted effort anyway.”
“What the hell do you want, Akabane? If you’re going to kill me just get it over with or stop wasting my time.” Bravado on my part but I was tensing up to pull free from the wall no matter how badly it was going to hurt. I wanted to kill the fucker. His excitement at my helplessness was making me sick. He was slowly grinding himself against my ass, sexually excited over my helplessness.
“What do I want? Why, to see you in pain. To see you squirm. And to see if it is really true.”
I bit my lip bloody to keep from screaming as another of his damned knives sunk into my thigh right above my knee. As the fourth blade pierced my other leg, black spots danced before my eyes and my breathing was reduced to harsh gasps. His arm around my waist was the only thing keeping me from sagging. This would have further torn my already bleeding injuries and made the possibility of staying conscious a remote one.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I rasped through gritted teeth.
“I wanted to see if you’d really abandoned your partner, the delectable Ginji Amano. You see Ban-chan, while fighting you to the death might be quite stimulating, I’d prefer to torment your partner instead. I can see him now in chains, kneeling at my feet." Hearing this black haired freak call me Ban-chan made me sick. Only Ginji was allowed to call me that. "I think it would be great fun to break him and have him call me master. He’s already afraid of me and that terror is quite intoxicating.”
When he talked about turning his vile perversions on my trusting and gullible partner I lost it. “Bastard! Don’t you dare touch him! I’ll fucking kill you!”
Heedless of the pain I started to chant the spell that would give me access to my extraordinary strength. It didn’t matter what happened to me as long as I took him with me.
My plea was cut off as the hand in my hair tightened and slammed my forehead against the brick wall. I couldn’t think and my concentration was shattered. Akabane knew what he was doing when he rendered my arms nearly useless and had taken me by surprise from behind. If I hadn’t been fucked up on whisky and heaving my guts all over the alley he never would have gotten the drop on me.
“Oh no...we can’t have you doing that. Just stand still and be a good boy as I tell you exactly what I plan to do to the partner you abandoned.” His breath was hot in my ear as Akabane whispered all the perverted things he was going to do to Ginji.
It was all my fault. I had to warn Shido. I had to stop him… had to stop… I grew dizzier as I was pushed hard into the wall. Akabane’s breathing sped up as he described in great detail how Ginji would suffer. His hips ground into my ass and I did scream this time as he bit me on the neck. Instinctively I’d tried to pull away and that forced the glowing red knives deeper into my shoulders. Fuck! I hated being so damned weak and unable to do a thing to stop him.
“Don’t touch him, you hear me? I’ll hunt you down and rip you into pieces. Ginji is mine!”
Akabane’s hand slid down until it rested on the back of my neck and it tightened painfully. I couldn’t breathe and knew that he meant to kill me. I had to do something! Anything!
I actually managed to rip one arm free and lashed out blindly. It hurt so fucking bad but that was nothing compared to what I deserved for leaving Ginji vulnerable to this asshole. He’d find a way to get to Ginji despite having such skilled watchdogs as Shido, Juubei and Kazuki. They’d worked with Akabane but did not truly understand what he was capable of doing to my partner.
He grabbed and twisted up painfully behind my back. “Yes fight me. It only makes me more excited. You want to kill me don’t you? I can almost taste your rage.” Akabane licked the side of my neck and I shuddered in revulsion.
There was a roaring in my ears and my vision swam. I was going to pass out and the odds of my waking up were slim to none. Every pained groan of mine was answered by a pleasurable one from my attacker. Akabane’s movements stilled and he pressed against me hard. I knew the sick fucker had totally just gotten off and I thanked god that he had not taken it even further. But from what he had whispered in my ear...he was saving it for Ginji. I had totally failed. I was a worthless waste of skin and deserved to die. As darkness descended, Akabane kissed me almost tenderly on cheek. He said goodbye and laughed mockingly. Then he let me go. I sagged against my restraints and felt muscle and skin tear.
The world grew dim as I finally succumbed to the pain and tumbled into the abyss.