Inconveniences of Being Human
by Aimless
Edward Elric hated state functions.
He had to dress up and sit in an uncomfortable chair. He had to listen to boring speakers drone on and on about things he could care less about. The food was ok but it was hardly worth the effort to wait for dinner.
This banquet was no different. It was as bad as he feared. Some state official guy was going to hand out medals or something. The whole fiasco could not end soon enough.
All he had to do was get through the next several hours. The collar of his dress uniform chafed his neck and the pants were a bit too short since the last time he had worn it. Al had no such worries... his only concession to the formal affair was a black bowtie around his metal neck. While not technically in the employ of the state to not invite Al was to have Ed not show up as well. Al was the only reason Ed had shown up at all. He was adept at getting his elder brother to do what he wanted.
"Nii san..." Al hissed. Ed was so absorbed in counting the bad toupees on the heads of the geezers in front of him he failed to hear his brother.
"Nii san..." All said a bit louder poking Ed for emphasis.
Ed started and turned towards Al. "What!? I was busy trying to figure out how to use alchemy to grow hair."
Al sighed... He had given up years ago trying to figure out his brother's thought processes. "Quit fidgeting."
"Huh? I wasn't.." Ed's protest was cut off by Al pointing out his brother's automail hand which was tapping loudly on the edge of his chair causing annoyed looks from those around them. Ed offered him a sheepish grin and tried to sit still as the speakers droned on and on.
He poured a glass of water from the pitcher in front of him and amused himself by flicking water into the towering hairdoo of the woman next to him. Al caught him and poked him again...hard. Ed sighed and tried to behave. He finished the whole carafe of water and wished they would serve the food already.
Time passed so slowly... he was going to go out of his mind. Plus another need had made itself known quite urgently. The presenter had stepped up to the podium and the medals were just now being passed out. Followed by a short speech by the awardee. Then the food would be served.
The trouble was Ed had drank all the water in most of the carafes within reach out of sheer boredom. Now he had to pee quite desperately. He crossed his legs tightly and rocked back and forth in his chair. This earned him another poke from Al, in his side.
"Will you sit still.. the ceremony is almost over." Al quietly admonished Ed.
"Gotta pee Al... real bad." Ed fidgeted a bit more. All could not help the giggles that escaped him.
"Just a bit longer then you can go."
"This is not funny Al! You do not even have to worry about this problem. Damn it I gotta go!" Ed whined.
Those getting the medals would not shut up. Each one made an intolerably long speech and Ed was about to burst. He had to leave now or risk utter humiliation. The Furher's second in command took the podium.
"And finally for service above and beyond the call of duty I award this medal of meritous service to State Alchemist Edward Elric."
All eyes were on the blond as he rose from his seat, then widened in surprise as he turned and ran from the room, nearly knocking a waiter off his feet in his haste to leave.
If a suit of armor could have blushed Al would have been bright red as all those eyes turned to him. He shrugged and tried to pretend he was not there.
From his spot at the head table Roy Mustang rolled his eyes heavenward. He had to give his troublesome alchemist some credit though. He was surprised Ed had lasted this long.
Next time he would tie the young man to his chair.
~ end ~